My time is no longer just my own, and I am grateful for the privilege of having three little boys to love and raise for Jesus. With a four year old, a two year old, and a just-turned-one year old, the time within my day can have the tendency to quickly fill up. But what is it filling up with? Am I so busy with other very good things that I am neglecting what I really want to be doing in this season of life? When others ask how I am doing or how my week was – is the word “busy” part of my go-to-response? Am I the mom that others are giving the badge as “Doing It All”?
While I understand that this season is physically demanding as I change pampers, carry loads of laundry, take twenty bags of groceries into the house to save on trips back and forth, and lug strollers and bikes in and out of van; I truly believe this season of life does not have to be characterized by the word “busy”. And I certainly do not need to live up to society\’s expectations of Doing It All.
18 Things I Refuse To Do
- I do not make my own Greek yogurt.
- I do not feed sourdough or kumboocha or kefir.
- I do not fold my children’s laundry.
- I do not make my own bread.
- I do not wash all my fruits and vegetables with apple cider vinegar.
- I do not make my own cleaning supplies, soaps, or candles.
- I do not tend a large garden, flowerbed, or lawn.
- I do not do all my own house cleaning.
- I do not make desserts except for special occasions.
- I do not can or freeze much.
- I do not wash the exterior or clean the interior my vehicle weekly.
- I do not schedule during-the-week evening events other than a bi-weekly date night, once-a-month ladies accountability with my church, and a once-a-month dinner with neighbors (other than the occasional exception-to-the-rule).
- I do not store or own many items that we do not use more then once a month within a years time.
- I do not sew most of my dresses (consequently I have a small wardrobe).
- I do not own a large home to maintain.
- I do not do “DIY” projects.
- I do not prepare foods a “special” diet such as Trim Healthy Mama, gluten-free, dairy-free, Whole 30, or keto.
- I do not coupon.
The items I listed above are all good items. I have done almost all of these items at some point in my life. But in the season of life that I am in now, I have not deemed them to be part of my main priorities. I have chosen to let them go this year. Maybe I will take some of them back next year and maybe not.
With everything you choose to pack into your life, you also are choosing to say “no” to something else. By saying “no” to these items, I am saying “yes” to living a slower life. “Yes” to spending less than an hour a day to housework. “Yes” to a daily devotional and prayer life. “Yes” to intentionally training and teaching my children. “Yes” to reading and researching and writing. “Yes” to teaching at a homeschool co-op with my children. “Yes” to helping my husband get Arrows Christian Academy up and running. “Yes” to learning Spanish and visiting with my neighbors. “Yes” to weekly walks to the library with my children. “Yes” to daily outdoor time with my children.
And I understand that I am privileged that I can say “no” to some of these items. There are items that are out of one’s control and cannot be eliminated. But I would guess that we all have items that we could be saying “no” to if we are finding “busy” as part of our daily vocabulary.
What Are You Refusing To Do?
Knowing what you ARE called to do gives you freedom to let go in other areas. Taking the time to evaluate your priorities in this season of your life and seeking God on how He would have you best spend your time and energy allows you to eliminate the other good things that may be taking time away from the best things. If you want more guidance on evaluating priorities and aligning your life accordingly, read this post on how I start each new year.
My list is not your list. Do not let another person’s list dictate your list. The items I eliminated probably will not be the same things that you choose to eliminate from your life.
Friends of mine reminded me of the the illustration of rocks, sand, and pebbles fitting into a glass. If you put all the sand and smaller pebbles in first representing the items in your life that are not as important, you will not have room for the rocks which represent the most important areas of your life. But rather, if you identify your rocks and make room for them first, you will still be able to have room for some of the smaller areas of importance such as pebbles and sand.
We live in a time when doing it all is celebrated, applauded, and admired. But at what cost? Is Satan applauding our “busy-ness” because we are trying to squeeze the “most important” things in after the sand and pebbles have already taken up most of our time? Let us normalize not doing it all so that we CAN do Kingdom work. I’d love to know, what are you choosing not to do in this season of your life so that you are intentionally making time for the more important things?
Let us not get so busy doing all the good things that we push out the most important things.